


tick tock

by accioronmione



Category: Shadowhunters, The Last Hours, The Shadowhunter Chronicles, cassandra clare - Fandom
Genre: Boys In Love, Confession, Gen, M/M, alastair vs being oblivious, mlm, the classic because ily
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27162412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accioronmione/pseuds/accioronmione
Summary: Alastair refused to believe this was happening. It was a dream, it must have been— the searching look Lightwood gave him, the way it turned incredibly sad, as if he understood an answer that wasn't close to correct. “Well. I suppose I have my answer.”
Relationships: Thomas Lightwood / Alastair Carstairs
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	tick tock

**Author's Note:**

> okay wow this did not come out as good as i thought it did but i hope you like it
> 
> find me on tumblr **waterloovase** <3

Two hours.

That was how long they had been arguing. Alastair watched the clock hands tick as Thomas lectured him, hands waving wildly. He bit his lip to try and stifle the tears that were building in his eyes. Lightwood could say what he liked, Alastair planned to never cry in front of him. Or anyone, for that matter.

Whoever thought it would be a good idea to leave them in the room together must have been deeply deranged. They hadn't said a word to each other since the ball, only traded tense stares. Well… Alastair supposed it didn't count as trading when he was the only one staring, but he liked to pretend Lightwood thought of him sometimes too.

Halfway through… whatever the taller boy was talking about (he had stopped listening), Alastair raised one hand. He dared not think about how Lightwood stopped talking instantly, though his blue eyes were still alight with anger. “You have never once hurt me, and I will not stop hurting you. So why are you still here? Why is it so hard for you to hate me?” Alastair crossed his arms over his chest and glared up at Lightwood. It was difficult to be intimidating when he was a foot shorter.

The next words to come out of the other boy's mouth almost broke his carefully built façade. “If it was up to me, believe me, I would. All trying has done is break my heart.”

Alastair scoffed. He hated the way it made Thomas’s mouth twist, but it was second nature to him now. “I let you down. I always do. You're getting your heart broken either way, Lightwood, you might as well accept I’m not a good person.”

“I don't believe you.”

Silence. He stared at Lightwood until it was rather awkward for him to keep silent, forcing his best irritated expression. What was he supposed to say to _that?_ "Well, thank you for the compliment, I suppose, but this is not about your beliefs. I am telling you that I am a terrible person-”

“And _I’m_ telling you that it's not that easy, because I’m in love with you anyway.” He threw his hands up in the air, eyes wild, chest heaving. Alastair’s heart dropped. “There. I said it. I love you, Alastair, and I hate it, but it cannot be helped.”

The silence was deafening. Alastair stared at him, speechless for once, blood roaring in his ears. He refused to believe this was happening. It was a dream, it must have been— the searching look Lightwood gave him, the way it turned incredibly sad, as if he understood an answer that wasn't close to correct. “Well. I suppose I have my answer.”

He turned on his heel, leaving Alastair standing there helpless as the world collapsed around him.


End file.
